Changing friendships

They say having a baby changes everything. You may be surprised, however, by some of the changes you did not anticipate. Back in March we shared with you an article on Changing Relationships, focused on the transition from partners to parents with practical tips to maintain a healthy relationship. We have returned to the theme of change, but this time with a focus on friendship.

Becoming a parent can challenge even the strongest of friendships. It is common for a few friends to drift away through pregnancy and new parenthood. This may be due to a lack of understanding of the changes you experience, different interests and needs, or simply a mutual acknowledgment that it is time to move on.

Regardless, there is often sadness as we witness some old friends drift away. At the same time, we are encountering a new community of friends met through moms’ groups, support circles, fitness classes and local parks. We want to share a few ideas with you to help nurture old friendships and foster new ones:

Reach out

If you are missing a friend who has drifted away, remember that they may be feeling awkward or unsure of how to relate to you as a parent. Give them a call and invite them out for a café date, and help them see that you’re still wonderful you, and introduce them to all that is new. Reconnecting with an old friend can help us feel more balanced in our new identity as parents.

Engage

If you find yourself hungry for new friendships with other parents, identify one new friend with whom you would like to foster a deeper relationship. While discussion of diapers and sleep is a vital part of supporting one another in parenthood, for a friendship to endure we need more. Ask your new friend questions about life outside of parenthood, and share more of the whole of who you are.

Our friends are a source of beloved support, laughter, and companionship through the years. Accompanied by friends old and dear, and new and beloved, we grow into parenthood together, though all the changes to come.

Groups to stay connected

For finding like-minded moms and support groups, check out the following links, for mom groups, Mama Renew; for support circles www.postpartum.org, and local fitness classes, visit Fit 4 Two.

Sarah Juliusson is the mother of two young boys, and co-founder of Dancing Star Birth, offering Birthing From Within and Birthing Again prenatal classes. She also leads self-renewal groups for new and experienced mothers through Mama Renew. To learn more visit www.DancingStarBirth.ca and www.MamaRenew.ca.

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Changing friendships

Reach out

Engage

Groups to stay connected

Wondering what to make for dinner?

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