Life as a new parent

by Sarah Juliusson

Ask any expectant mom or dad what advice they hear the most and the answer is usually: “Everything is going to change.” Other favourites? “Get some sleep while you still can,” “Just you wait,” and the ever cheerful, “Life as you know it is about to end!”

To many, these pronouncements are received with a unique blend of hopeful denial, mild dread, and utter delight. We like sleeping through the night, travelling on a whim, and a good slow morning coffee and paper. At the same time, we eagerly anticipate the feeling of holding our child in our arms.

We know the changes are coming, we just don’t know what they will be like for us. It is hard to imagine life as a parent until you’re on the other side. We learn through experience – all the imagination in the world cannot equal the intuitive knowing that emerges as we hold our babies for the first time.

Denial

As we approach baby’s arrival, we may imagine carrying our baby along with us as we engage in our regular life. The truth is, a lot does change. Each activity we engage in is distinctly different with a baby. Our focus and priorities change, and we modify our routine in response to baby’s needs.

To our delight, many of these changes are a source of newfound enjoyment. Instead of a long hike, we bring a picnic into the woods and slow down enough to notice the slugs and fungi. Rather than rushing from stage to stage at the music festival, we may find ourselves settling in under the shade of a tree and discovering new artists we would have otherwise missed. And the morning coffee routine can’t possibly be as good as a morning giggle!

Dread

The honest work of raising a child can be daunting, especially in the early days. During a late night diaper change, a sleep deprived parent may find themselves calculating exactly how many diapers will be changed over the years. The secret is to discover the countless moments of magic hidden within the daily work of caring for our children: A diaper change becomes a time of tender connection. Racing each other to the bathroom as they are toilet training. Sweet songs, stories and snuggles at night.

Delight

Occasionally, instead of pronouncements evoking denial and dread, we hear glowing words of hope. Blessed are the friends who say “Just you wait…”, and then go on to share the beauty of loving a child, the precious smell of a newborn, the feeling of gazing into their eyes.

In our busy world, having a child is a chance to slow down and refocus on what is most important in life. The gifts are many: the joy of a first smile or giggle, or the delight of witnessing each new discovery. As we get to know our child, we are also gifted with the opportunity to learn more about ourselves and the world around us.

How do we remain open to this delight? The challenge is for us to be open to the changes, even the ones that strike fear in our hearts, and allow for unexpected blessings to emerge. Take the opportunity today to transform a routine moment into one of pure magic. And if you know an expectant parent, give them a call and offer them a taste of all the beauty that is to come.

Sarah Juliusson is the mother of two young boys, and co-founder of Dancing Star Birth, offering Birthing From Within and Birthing Again prenatal classes. She also leads self-renewal groups for new and experienced mothers through Mama Renew. To learn more visit www.DancingStarBirth.ca and www.MamaRenew.ca.

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