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Doing it All Over Again

by Sarah Juliusson

When we conceived our second child I had no idea how different the experience would be. From the combined exhaustion of motherhood and pregnancy to the unique blend of excitement and fear over doing it all over again, our second pregnancy was filled with beauty and challenges. Here are some ideas to support you in your journey to being a mother of two:

Celebrating this Pregnancy

In a first pregnancy, many of us are overwhelmed by the piles of baby clothes passed on and the bountiful words of wisdom and excitement shared by friends and family. Many women feel a sense of loss without the same loving attention and care in their second pregnancy.

Take the time to slow down and enjoy this pregnancy. Find childcare to attend prenatal yoga or fitness classes. Get regular prenatal massages and acupuncture to help you feel good in your changing body. Rather than a baby shower, ask a dear friend to host a blessing way celebration to honour your transition into life with two. Go on a personal retreat: a night or weekend away on your own, to reconnect with yourself.

Connecting with Baby

Even with the excitement of bringing another child into our family, entire days of mothering can go by without remembering that we are pregnant. Many mothers find it helpful to find quiet times during the day to simply be pregnant. Make a cup of tea and allow for 5-10 minutes (or more!) of quiet centering, bringing your attention to this new baby growing inside. Write a letter to your baby, or record your hopes and dreams in your journal.

Honouring our First Born

We may wonder: can I love another child this much? Is it too soon? Will they get along? Will my focus on a new baby take away from my older child? All of these feelings are a normal part of the transition into life with two.

Be gentle with yourself as you seek to open your heart to this new child while honouring your relationship with your first-born. Take the time for special dates with your older child, wholly focused on their needs. Celebrate their transition into life as an older sister or brother by inviting them to choose a story or song to share with your belly at bedtime.

By connecting with our growing baby, honouring our relationship with our first born, and celebrating this pregnancy through gentle nurturing of ourselves, we can enter the beauty and challenges of life with two children with a strong foundation of self-care, connection and confidence.

Sarah Juliusson is the mother of two young boys, and founder of Dancing Star Birth, offering Birthing From Within and Birthing Again prenatal ‘refresher’ workshops for second-timers. She also leads self-renewal groups for new and experienced mothers through Mama Renew. To learn more visit www.DancingStarBirth.ca and www.MamaRenew.ca.

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