What's the vibe today . . .

by Meralon Shandler

Trust your instincts

Being a parent for the first time is overwhelming. Mamaspeak’s Meralon Shandler offers some basic yet helpful advice for new moms.

Developing confidence

The transition to motherhood is not always a smooth path. In fact, sometimes, it’s downright messy. And we’re not even talking about the baby. It’s normal to feel confused by everything everyone is telling you. It’s also normal to feel overwhelmed by your new role as a mom. You may be asking, if this is so natural, how come it feels so unfamiliar? It’s unfamiliar, because you’ve never done it. It’s like learning a brand new job – it’s going to take some time to adjust. But you’ll get there. Developing confidence in your parenting style and methods takes a bit of time and patience on your part.

Information overload

As a new mom in this savvy age of technology, you’re likely to be bombarded with all kinds of “helpful” advice – advice from books, friends, neighbours, the Internet, salespeople in stores (this happened to me all the time!), and last but not least, your own mom. Some advice you’ll agree with, some of it you’ll smile politely and think, “Not on your life!” and some of it you’ll wonder about and perhaps feel confused by. How do we wade through all the friendly, but sometimes-unhelpful advice?

Different babies – different methods

The promises that “this will definitely work for your baby” may or may not be true, but we can be sure that not everything works for EVERY baby. Surprise! They’re individuals, like us. Different babies respond to different things. You’ll soon learn what your infant likes and doesn’t like. One way to do this is to tune in to your baby’s individual cues – they will let you know if they prefer another way.

Trusting your instincts

There are a number of fantastic books written on the subject of having babies and raising children (and everything in between) – your job is to find what works for you and your child. Of course, this takes time and energy – energy that you don’t often have, right? Motherhood is a journey – don’t expect too much of yourself in the beginning. Read the books with a critical mind, ask lots of questions, consult with people you trust, then decide for yourself whether it fits for you. I’ve figured out the best advice is to trust your own instincts. If it feels right for you and your family, then it’s a good decision.

Meralon Shandler is the owner of Mamaspeak, programs offering support and education to new moms in the postpartum weeks and months. For more information visit www.mamaspeak.com.

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