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Wednesday, December 13, 2006 - B.C. edition
What's the vibe today . . .
Nurturing the nurturer
by Meralon Shandler
The importance of giving to yourself
As moms, we’re very accustomed to giving to others – giving of our time, our money, and our energy – but how often do we give back to ourselves? Not enough, I would dare to venture.
The notion of “giving to oneself” is a relatively new idea, but one that has gained acceptance in many places around the world. It is not, as some people think, a selfish idea. Selfishness would be only ever thinking of ourselves, and we all know that as moms, we hardly ever have time for ourselves, so that cannot possibly be it. No, giving to oneself means to care about yourself; to “fill up your own tank,” so that you can in turn give to others. It is very difficult to continue giving to others on a long-term basis, without giving yourself something as well. This can result in feeling stressed out and anxious, and can even lead to more serious emotional breakdowns.
Tis’ the season to give . . . and receive
So, what can we give ourselves this holiday season that will help to allay those anxieties? Well, a pedicure might be nice, or a relaxing massage at the local spa. I know – you need childcare for that. Do you have a neighbour you can reciprocate with? A trusted friend who doesn’t mind playing with your kids for an hour? Even something as simple as a bubble bath when the kids are in bed will help to de-stress those sore feet, tired from hours of shopping and running after tiny ones.
Making time for yourself is as important as making your kids’ lunches, or cleaning the house. We do so much for others – it’s time to make ourselves a priority. Our mental and emotional health depends on it. Believe me, we would be much more balanced individuals if we put ourselves first, because as we know, when we are stressed, who gets it first? Our kids or our partners, right? So, give them a break by giving yourself a break. Try it – and I guarantee you’ll soon be working it into your regular routine!
Meralon Shandler is the owner of Mamaspeak, programs offering support and education to new moms in the postpartum weeks and months. For more information visit www.mamaspeak.com.
Illustration by Emilie Vanvolsem
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