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Napping dilemma - Q & A

Today's answer provided by Ann Douglas, best-selling Canadian pregnancy and parenting author.

Q. I have a question re: napping. I have a 12 month old who likes to nap in my arms but as soon as I put her in her crib she wakes up. I have tried the crying out method during the day, but it doesn't work. She is starting to sleep 11-12 hours a night. I don't know if it is because she is overtired or I let her cry it out. Is it that my daughter doesn't need naps and she is only falling asleep in my arms as a comfort thing? Thanks.

A. I'm assuming from the way you phrased your question that your daughter has never gone down for naps on her own. (In other words, she's always napped in your arms.)

You've also told me that your daughter is able to sleep for long stretches on her own at night. Because we know that babies wake when they pass through periods of lighter sleep, your daughter has clearly learned some ways of soothing herself back to sleep when she wakes in the night. Otherwise, she would be calling for you regularly in the night. This is great news in terms of your naptime dilemma because, with some help from you, she should be able to start applying her nighttime self-soothing skills at naptime as well.

My gut instinct is telling me that your daughter probably still needs at least one daytime nap. Age 12 months is fairly young to go without any daytime sleep. (Most children that age are napping once or twice a day. The shift from two naps per day to no naps typically happens around age three. But, it's important to bear in mind that all children are unique.) However, the fact that your daughter will fall asleep in your arms as opposed to resisting the idea of any sort of nap does seem to indicate that she is benefiting from that daytime siesta.

Sometimes children who are overtired find it extra difficult to give into sleep (as crazy as that sounds). They get so tired that they become "wired" and find it difficult to relax enough to sleep properly when the opportunity presents itself at naptime.

What I would suggest is that you consider using elements of the routine that seems to be working so well for your daughter at bedtime (e.g. music, story, darkened room, etc.) at naptime as well. You may want to vary the routine slightly (don't make the room quite as dark and use different music and stories at naptime, for example) so she can continue to distinguish between the sleep that occurs during the day and the sleep that occurs at night.

Because your daughter has developed a powerful sleep association (she's come to associate naptime with sleeping in your arms), it may take a while to learn to go down for her naps on her own. You may decide that you're okay with taking a nap or reading in her room with her while she naps in her crib, for example. Or you might decide that such an approach would backfire, given what you know about your toddler's temperament. You're the best judge of what would work for her and for you. Good luck!

Ann Douglas is the author of Sleep Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler, Mealtime Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler, and the bestselling titles in The Mother of All Books series: The Mother of All Pregnancy Books, The Mother of All Baby Books, The Mother of All Toddler Books, The Mother of All Parenting Books, and The Mother of All Pregnancy Organizers. She is also a proud mom of four. You can read Ann's pregnancy and parenting articles at www.having-a-baby.com and check out her blog at www.anndouglas.blogspot.com.

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